Emotional Mastery

Author

Dan Martin
January 24, 2024

Yesterday I faced a real test of emotional mastery during my journey from Spain to Italy.

  • Flat tyres

  • Passport refusal

  • Lot’s of anxiety…

Truthfully… it wasn’t fun.

If you haven't read about it yet, check it out here.

In essence, Emotional Mastery is about being in touch with what, why, and how we respond to our feelings.

Let's dive into the 7 stages

Stage One: Unconscious Dissociation 

Your mind blocks out feelings completely.

You're not even aware of what you're feeling.

It's like…

"I don't know what emotions are?!"

Stage Two: Conscious of Dissociation 

You sense emotions but can't name them, and you try to ignore them.

It's a bit like saying…

"I feel something, but I don’t want to deal with it."

Reflecting on my existence, I spent the vast majority of my adult life stuck in this place.

Constantly in a cycle of denial and avoidance, I masked my true feelings behind a haze of substances.

Nights blurred into mornings, with each drink and hit only deepening the void I refused to acknowledge.

It was a relentless pursuit of numbness, a denial of the emotional turmoil within…

Stage Three: Consciously Dissociated 

You're aware of emotions and your habit of avoiding them.

Naming feelings is hard, and you tend to get distracted.

"I have feelings, but it's hard for me to feel them! I quickly reach for any distractions I can think of when things get uncomfortable."

Stage Four: Naming and Feeling 

You can identify and feel your emotions more easily.

You understand some of your emotional habits but still get sidetracked.

"I can feel my feelings, but my mind keeps distracting me. I am aware when this happens and can bring my attention back to my feelings."

Stage Five: Feeling with Fluidity 

You're getting better at understanding and feeling emotions, despite some discomfort.

"I can feel my feelings with more ease now. It's not always comfortable, but I can do it, and it makes a big difference when I do. I am much less anxious these days."

Stage Six: Emotional Fluidity 

Feeling emotions becomes more natural.

You're in harmony with your feelings.

"I can feel my feelings deeply and fully. I like who I am. I am comfortable in my own skin."

Stage Seven: Emotional Autonomy 

You're in full control of your emotional world.

You trust and understand your feelings.

"My feelings are trustable. I know how to be in a healthy relationship with them. They gift me whatever I need for my next stage of growth"

I find myself navigating between Stages Six and Seven.

It's an ongoing journey, one where self-awareness and acceptance are key.

I've learned to embrace my emotions, to feel them fully, and to trust in their guidance.

I'm no longer hiding from myself; I'm exploring and growing every day.

For people who look fine on the outside but struggle with addiction, working through these stages is critical.

They help match how you feel inside with how you appear outside.

No more hiding, just being real.

Which stage here do you spend most of your time in? Anyone who responds will receive a free 15 minute 1:1 with to bump that score up 1 point ☺️

PS. I’ve built a step-by-step guide for achieving emotional mastery. Make sure to watch out for that in Sundays letter – it's going to be a lifesaver.

Loving you,

Dan ‘freedom’ Martin 

Think you’ve got an Addictive Personality? Take this <90 second quiz to confirm.

It’s a quick way to see:

✅ What you’re good at

✅ How impulses affect you

✅ Tips to make your life better

It’s free and fast.

Enjoy!

Want to work with me:

I’m booked up until the middle of February, but I’m setting up chats now for appointments starting from the 12th.

If you’re ready to start feeling proud of yourself, you can book a free Power Hour with me.

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