"I'm emotionally unavailable"

I used to think I was emotionally unavailable.

For years, I believed I couldn’t connect deeply with others.

I assumed I was wired differently, that I lacked the capacity to be open, vulnerable, or present.

It felt like a wall I couldn’t get past, no matter how much I tried to break it down.

But I didn’t lack feelings; I had too many of them.

• Feelings I didn’t know how to process.
• Feelings I was scared to face.
• Feelings I didn’t understand.

So I did what many men do: Shut down.

I convinced myself that being stoic, controlled, and detached was the only way to survive.

I bought into the lie that emotions were a weakness, something to be managed and kept at bay.

But in reality, I was running from myself.

The turning point came when I realised this emotional unavailability affected everyone around me.

It impacted my relationships, my work, and my overall sense of purpose.

I was disconnected not just from others but from myself.

What changed? I stopped running.

I allowed myself to feel.

I gave myself permission to explore the depths of my emotions without judgment or fear.

I learned that being vulnerable isn’t about being weak; it’s about being authentic.

It’s about showing up fully without hiding behind the masks we create.

True connection began with embracing what I feel, not suppressing it.

So, if you’ve ever felt emotionally unavailable, ask yourself this:

Are you truly unavailable, or are you just overwhelmed?

Maybe, like me, it’s time to stop running...

With love,
Dan